Trapped by the Nixies

We ran into an interesting problem today. Our scout, a devoted, but rather odd creature named Nobbley, sent word that the king's men were close behind us again. Naturally, we immediately left our makeshift camp behind. Edric rode off on his horse, Endellion, and I flew away on Bellamy (Edric and Bellamy do not trust one another, so we find it best for Edric to stick to his horse, even though Bellamy is much faster). We stopped a few hours later, when we reached an area that seemed safe. It was a quiet glade in the midst of a very attractive, deep forest, with a little brook running through it. We thought it would be a perfect place to rest for a time.

Goodness, were we wrong! The glade turned out to be inhabited by nixies. Have you ever heard of nixies? They're little wingless faeries, about ten inches in height, with pointy heads, shiny faces, and extremely long, thin fingers. They have a rather unusual effect on people; they make you do whatever comes into your head, just by whistling in their strange little manner. And, owing to their odd senses of humor, nixies like to plant ridiculous ideas in people's minds. They're never malevolent; just silly and often a bit annoying. The only defense against them is plug your ears and cross your fingers, while concentrating on remaining serious.

So, much to my amusement, Edric was forced against his will to tap-dance in a crazy tight circle, waving a tree branch over his head. I laughed so hard that I completely forgot to defend myself against the nixies. The next thing I knew, I was turning back handsprings while singing loudly off-key. Edric started laughing at me, and pretty soon he was turning very graceful pirouettes through the air. Well, it went on in like fashion for over two hours. It was exhausting! If Bellamy hadn't sneezed and roasted half of the nixies, which scared off the other half, I don't know how Edric and I would have escaped!

Whew; I think we'll be sleeping well tonight!

Our Odd Little Scout

When Edric and I first fled, it was just us and Edric's horse. We had no allies, no assistance. Worse, no witnesses in case one of us killed the other (and believe me, that was always a possibility). After we'd been on the run for a few weeks, my dear Bellamy tracked us down. Of course, Edric wasn't overly thrilled about that, but I certainly was. Still, as comforting as Bellamy can be, dragons really don't make good scouts. We had no way of knowing how close the Royal Guard were, or whether there were other nearby dangers.

One morning, Edric happened across what he thought was a rather ugly little boy wandering through the woods. When he offered to help the youngster, he learned that it was actually a strangely beardless dwarf named Nobbley. As it turned out, he was ostracized from his hometown owing to his inability to grow a beard (for some reason, dwarfs consider this a very crucial matter). Nobbley tried to play it brave, but we figured out rather quickly that he was lonely.

Edric thought Nobbley might make a good scout, since dwarfs are skilled at tracking and at keeping others from tracking them in turn. Of course, Nobbley does have the unsettling belief that he is a miniature giant rather than a dwarf, but delusions aside, he's a marvelous scout. He seems to have remarkable instincts, even if his speech patterns are a bit bizarre, and he is fiercely loyal. I cannot tell you how grateful Edric and I are for Nobbley's assistance. I just wish that Bellamy liked him more (or perhaps less): he keeps trying to roast Nobbley.

A New Complication

Well, Edric and I have an interesting new problem to contend with: we think that I may be with child. Considering our relationship, you may find this hard to believe. Really, it's all a matter of duty. In our country, the second royal, whether prince or princess, must marry at age twenty and then produce a secondary royal line, for the protection of the Glemarian throne. It's a custom/law that began centuries ago, and Edric and I are as bound to it as anyone. I'm certain we're not the first royal couple to dislike one another, and I anticipate that we will not be the last. Royal arranged marriages, though essential, are not always pleasant for all concerned.

So, now we have quite the quandary. We must continue to evade the king's Royal Guard, but we also must now take care because of the (possible) child. I suggested to Edric that we send a message to his mother, in the hope that his father will show us mercy for the sake of the secondary royal line, but Edric has little faith in the plan. He pointed out that his father is already trying to execute the beginnings of the secondary line (us), so an anticipated grandchild will likely affect little change. Nevertheless, we're going to send a message anyway.

Our scout, an odd but loyal creature named Nobbley, has bravely agreed to carry our written message all the way to Vasminia (the capitol, where the palace is located). In the meantime, we shall continue to stay hidden.

Oops.

It has been a very trying day. Bellamy and I are both ill, and the results have been . . . catastrophic.

Bellamy, you may recall, is my pet dragon. He's a full-grown pygmy, twelve years old, and one of the most lovable, endearing creatures you could ever hope to meet. Unfortunately, he has always had a bit of trouble controlling his ability to breathe fire. He really does try hard, but every now and then, accidents happen. And when Bellamy has a cold, there's really no way for him to control his abilities.

Today, Bellamy has a very bad cold. A very, very bad cold. He was wheezing quite a bit this morning and obviously had terrible sinus pains, as he kept beating his head against the rather uncomfortable tree that Edric and I spent the night in. I'm not sure why he thought beating his head would make it feel better -- dragons are not always logical. As a result of Bellamy taking out his suffering on the tree, Edric was awakening by being knocked out of the tree. Don't worry, he's fine. He landed in some conveniently placed bramble bushes. I tried to heal his many cuts by crying on them (I have healing powers in my tears), but sadly, my powers only work on people I care deeply about. Edric was quite rude to both Bellamy and me after that.

Well, Bellamy just got worse as the day progressed. Around noon, he went into a massive sneezing fit, sending flames all over the place. Glemaria is now missing one of its forests. You should have seen how quickly those trees alighted; it was only moments before we were surrounded by a most impressive inferno. Edric's horse was smart enough to run out of there at the sight of the first spark, so she was unhurt by the fire. Bellamy, despite his misery, still had the presence of mind to grab Edric and I in his claws and fly us out of there -- just in time, too. Edric's boots got a bit singed, but other than that, we were unscathed. Unfortunately, the flight was rather bumpy, owing to Bellamy's continued sneezes (which helped to spread the massive forest fire even more), and I got quite sick to my stomach. When Bellamy finally deposited us safely on the ground, I was sick all over Edric's chest. That made him even grumpier than he had already been, although he did later concede that it was not deliberate.

To prevent any further fire calamities, Edric found a rocky area with no brush for Bellamy to rest in. I tried to brew a potion to make Bellamy's cold get better, but I am even worse at potion-making than I am at incantations, and Bellamy refused to drink the gurgling concoction that I created. I suppose I can't blame him. When Edric dumped it out on a nearby bramble bush (revenge against nature for this morning?), the bush shriveled into a vile-looking green thing and then suddenly exploded. Edric got quite a bit of nasty-smelling vile-green-thing juice all over him from that, at which point he hopped on his horse and rode off at a very fast gallop, calling out an impressive stream of highly undignified words as he went. He still hasn't returned.

Well, after the potion-making fiasco, I felt very faint, so I took a nap for a while in yet another uncomfortable tree. I tried to eat some berries after I awoke, but couldn't keep them down. I've no idea what I'm ill with, but after the way Edric has abandoned me to suffer alone, I hope that I'm highly contagious.

Oh dear, I think I'm going to be sick again. Please excuse me.

Just Another Day on the Run

You know that sinking feeling you get when you try to use an incantation to cause warts to spring up all over your husband's face and it backfires and instead produces a large, living wart that runs fast and spits in people's eyes while shrieking in a horrifically high squeal? No? Well, neither did I, until this morning.

Edric and I have really been doing quite well lately. We were almost caught by King Haden's men shortly after I wrote last time, which is why we haven't been writing much lately. We've been in a panicked, frenzied state, trying desperately to find a place to hide, where no one will even think to look. You know, there really aren't as many places like that as one might think. We've finally settled on a place that may do for a time, but of course I cannot take the risk of describing it here.

Well anyway, with all that running about and fearing for our lives, Edric and I were actually quite civil to one another. He was far too frightened for his usual snide remarks, and I was too tired to abuse him with magic. He risked his neck to capture a chicken one night, after I had remarked earlier in the day about longing for something other than plants to eat at night, and I was so grateful to him that I gave him the antidote for the chivalry potion that I had snuck into his breakfast (both potions were a gift from one of the Glean-Side; believe me, I could never hope to create any potion that powerful). Yes, I admit that it was the chivalry potion that made Edric go after the chicken in the first place, but . . . oh what does it matter; you're probably more curious about the wart anyhow.

Good things usually come to an end, and in like manner, Edric's and my time of pleasantry ended on Tuesday. He was a tad bitter over the chivalry potion, I suppose, and he decided to retaliate by washing my undergarments in stinging nettle juice again AND by hiding my clothes when I bathed later to get the stinging nettle juice off my skin. I had to walk for over a mile, clad only in some leaves that I was using every ounce of my powers to keep positioned over essential areas. After that, all truces were off. Edric and I had a dreadful argument that lasted most of the night, and then this morning, I was reading through my book of forgotten magic and happened to stumble on the wart-causing incantation. It seemed a fitting retaliation.

Unfortunately, as is usually the case with me, the incantation went nothing like it ought to, and Edric and I then spent most of today alternating between running away from the wart and trying to catch it. It was a miserable creature, quite as horrid as Edric. Well, there is a kinship between the two, after all. It was my dragon, Bellamy, who finally rectified the situation. As the wart was passing him, Bellamy let out a very potent burst of flame, and the hideous creature (the wart, not Edric) was nothing more than a little pile of ash. We buried it, just to be safe.

Oh dear, here comes Edric again. He's smiling, which means he's either done something dreadful that is going to make me very cross, or he's come up with a "clever" start to another argument. Looks to be the latter, most likely.

Farewell for the time being, dear friends.

Thoughts of Home

I realized this morning that I have been away from home for over two months now. It shouldn't be so hard; after all, I did attend a boarding school for the last six years of my education. I rarely went home then, other than on holidays, the occasional weekends, and during the summer. Still, I suppose the knowledge that I still had a place to go home to made me feel connected in a way that I no longer am.

Laurelwyck Manor, the ancestral home of the Shanahans (my father's side) was a lovely place to grow up. The house was enormous, with over eighty rooms. My favorite room was the morning room, where Mum used to read us faerie stories when my siblings and I were little. Father had a special stable built in the back for Bellamy, my pygmy dragon, and there were Mum's overgrown gardens, the pond, the woods . . . I'm making myself tear up remembering everything that I've lost. I always knew that when I grew up, I would leave for another home, but I always expected that I would be able to visit whenever I wished to. I was wrong.

Edric and I had only just returned from our so-called honeymoon (I think it would be more accurate to call it a traveling civil war, actually) when things got truly bad —er, worse, for us. King Haden ordered my entire family executed. The Royal Guard captured Mum, but Father, Georgiana, and Carwyn (my sister and brother) were able to escape. When Edric confronted his father about it and tried to convince him to spare at least my sister and brother, his father became even more infuriated. The next thing we knew, Edric's head was being demanded. Removed, that is. So, we had no choice to flee.

Now we're constantly on the move, traveling from one forest to another, hiding out in trees, in caves, occasionally in barns, when we're lucky — last night we slept inside an old tomb. I don't recommend tombs to weary travelers — they're hard, cold, and rather frightening. It was empty, but it was still by far the creepiest night I've ever spent. And that's counting the first night after I was married!

At the moment, Edric and I are waiting out a rainstorm, still stuck inside this tomb. No, I haven't changed him into anything unnatural. We've called a truce for the moment (and besides, I don't know how to change him into anything — deliberately, I mean). The bleak day is making me melancholy, and, in turn, making me even more homesick than I have previously been. I don't know if I'll ever again see Laurelwyck Manor or my family, aside from in my memories and my happiest dreams.

On a day like today, I even almost miss Georgiana (my sister).

An Open Letter to My Wife

My "dear" Flavia,

First of all, thank you for helping me break free from the snapping hyacinths. It was kind of you, considering you were the one who pushed me into them in the first place. And while we're on the subject, thank you for letting me have the fun of battling for my life against those flesh-eating flowers for a full twenty minutes before bothering to help me. It's so nice to have a wife who lets me maintain my independence.

Second, thank you for changing my profile picture to a picture of a worm. I believe I speak for everyone when I say you have truly demonstrated your maturity. I would love to repay the kind favor, but, as we both know, I have no idea how any of this stuff works. Would you please change the picture when you're through having your childish fun?

Finally, thank you for putting dragon manure in my boots again. It was just as funny this time as it was the last two -- no, make that three -- times. I hope that you likewise enjoyed the stinging nettle juice that I washed your undergarments in.

Okay, Fiery, I think we're even for a while. I promise to leave your clothing alone if you promise not to put anything else in my boots. Also, I would appreciate not being shoved into any other murder-minded vegetation. Truce?

Sincerely,

Edric

A More Accurate Introduction

Edric is currently a bit . . . em, "entangled," so I'll be posting today. It's only fair, really, since he usurped my turn for posting last time, just out of sheer male vindictiveness.

Edric's unflattering depiction of me was far from accurate, so I'd like to introduce myself more properly. My full name is Princess Flavia Eloise Kathan Shanahan de Laurivoix. It's quite a nuisance having to write it all out, (legal forms are a nightmare!) so in this forum I would prefer to just be known as Flavia. After all, I'm only a princess by marriage, and certainly not by choice.

As you have already gathered, I have certain inexplicable powers, which I've struggled to gain mastery over since I was a child. I believe the full story of how I came to have these powers is recorded in a book or some such volume, so I won't trouble with telling the full story of it here. Anyhow, I first became aware of these powers during the oft-mentioned "frog and fountain" incident. Regardless of what Edric says, I found my powers frightening at the time. I'm used to them now, though they still surprise me.

I can do many things that others can't: pick up and move objects without touching them, charm and tame enchanted creatures, heal people with my tears . . . all quite useful talents, really. Incantations, however, are another matter. I am really quite dreadful at incantations. I always seem to do some part of them incorrectly, or jumble the words a bit, and then odd things happen instead of what was supposed to take place. For example, one night I attempted an incantation that was supposed to make Edric's teeth grow about sixteen inches. It would have been highly amusing had it worked properly. Unfortunately, something went terribly wrong, and I accidentally turned his pillow into an odd fanged creature that began attacking him. In my defense, I did rescue Edric . . . eventually.

I suppose it must seem odd to many of you that Edric and I are married, considering our mutual loathing. That matter is entirely Edric's fault. I was one of four potential brides for him, and he chose me. He claims that he was selflessly putting the needs of our country ahead of his own wishes, but I suspect he just wanted to ruin my life. At the moment we're on the run together, owing to a disagreement between Edric and his father, King Haden. As a result, Edric and I have been spending a lot of time alone together. I don't think it's been healthy for either of us.

Well, Edric seems to be having trouble breaking free from the strangling grasp of the Malevolentium Creophagous (more commonly known as snapping hyacinths). It's been enjoyable letting him battle them on his own, but I probably ought to go help him now. I did, after all, push him in there, almost accidentally.

Sorry Flavia, but I Posted First!

Flavia was originally planning to write today, but I woke up early just to thwart her plans. Vindictive? Perhaps, but if you had known Flavia as long as I have, you'd see how justified my actions are.

You see, Flavia is not like normal women -- actually, make that not like anything resembling normal humankind. From the time we were young children, she has had a fierce temper and inexplicable powers. The two are not a good combination. I believe that the high point of our relationship was the day when I played a small, humorous, boyish prank on her in response to the completely disrespectful things I heard her saying about me (at my own party, I might add). Being Flavia, she went completely ballistic and used her powers to throw me backwards into a fountain and shove a very large frog in my mouth. Painful, humiliating, and, may I add, utterly disrespectful of my position as second prince of Glemaria. Oh, and frog slime tastes disgusting, for those who were curious.

Naturally, our relationship degenerated from there. I attempted once to stop the ongoing feud with an offer of peace, but Flavia would have done of it. I think she thrives off of conflict. I also suspect that she would be worshiped as a war goddess if we lived in Glurmenistein.

Marriage has not softened Flavia. Ours is a political union, and I use "union" in the loosest sense of the word. It's more like two warring countries being forced to submit to a treaty. She regularly makes odd things happen to me: my bowl of soup suddenly slides away at dinner just as I'm bringing down the spoon, paintings nearly fall on me, my trousers suddenly run away and hide from me when I'm dressing . . . it's a rather lengthy list. One night she managed to turn my pillow into an odd fanged creature -- luckily, the enchantment only lasted a minute, or else I might be minus an earlobe. She claimed it was an accident, but I certainly don't believe her. Being a gentleman, I never retaliate, except of course with occasional (and justified) verbal complaints.

So, that's my life summarized, at the moment. The second prince of one of the most prosperous Known Countries, married to a fiery redhead with powers that she regularly abuses. I also have to put up with her pet dragon, who frequently causes accidental fires. And then there's the issue of my estranged father, who has become a mad despot and wants to kill me. Sometimes I envy the commoners.