Why The Monkeys?

So I was wandering around in the Forest of Giant Hairy Ape-Men Who Eat Their Own Feces today because...well...because I was bored and the Ape-Men are actually pretty good conversationalists despite their breath. Anyway I was trying to find their camp so I could have someone to talk to other than Olef, he's been on this whole kick about magic actually being the manipulation of atoms and porons or morons...something like that. I have no idea what he's talking about and he won't talk about anything else so I just can't talk to him right now and I was getting a little bored talking to myself.

I was going to summon up Gilly...that's Gilderoy...for some news about the 600,000 hells, then I remembered that I bound him into my teapot. In retrospect that might have been a hasty decision on my part, Gilly is a pretty good source of infernal information, but hey...at least my tea's always hot.

So anyway, I was wondering around in the Forest of Giant Hairy Ape-Men Who Eat Their Own Feces and I wasn't getting anywhere. I mean, you wouldn't think a whole village of giant stinking Ape-Men would be that hard to find, even if they do move around a lot. Then I came across this clearing with two or three dead Ape-Men on the ground and hundreds of monkeys with their heads ripped off. It was the weirdest thing, seriously, hundreds of monkey all missing their heads...where'd the heads go?

Well, one of the Ape-Men wasn't quite as dead as I thought he was, actually he wasn't dead at all, just a little woozy with a nasty bump on his head. He told me that the chief of the Ape-Men had declared war on all the monkeys in the Forest of Giant Hairy Ape-Men Who Eat Their Own Feces. The Ape Men were currently on the warpath slaughtering clans of monkeys everywhere they could find them.

I asked him why they were killing all the monkeys and he said he didn't know, the chief just up and decided that all the monkeys had to die. Why the monkeys? I don't get it.