Well, Renard is still at it, securing his title as the naughtiest piskie ever to torment our world. Honestly, I'm getting more than just a little frustrated with him. He's even pranking me (his author)! This morning, my car was emitting an odd green smoke. Come to found out, Renard had filled the gas tank with poisoned dragon's liver. It didn't really harm the car, thankfully, but it did turn all of the foliage that the smoke hit a stark white. Oh, that Renard!
From the postcards that he has been sending me, I've a rough idea of some of Renard's latest antics. Among other things, he caused a caterpillar stampede in Vienna (don't ask), replaced the coffee at several large companies with a hair growth serum that he recently invented, and terrorized yet another university campus (he put up signs that read "free beer" in front of all of the dean's offices). And of course, Renard is still thoroughly angering Mal DaPone (the infamous magical mobster). This time, he put his magical adhesive inside the guns of all of Mal's men, so that when they shot people, they glued themselves to their victims. Mal is quite possibly the angriest that I have ever seen him.
Google called earlier yesterday, complaining that someone has been replacing their street view images with photos of gas station restrooms. They figure Renard is to blame, and I'm quite certain that they're right. Whatever am I to do about this disobedient piskie?!
Won't someone please, please, please catch Renard?
Lantern Hollow Press is overbrimming with vivacious characters who have a lot to say! Come join in the conversations.
Stephanie, I have been approached by my author with a contract to capture this Renard Breen character, and I have decided to take him up on the offer. There was coercion involved- said he'd never finish my story otherwise- and the pay's not bad in any case.
ReplyDeleteSo, let me take this time to issue a formal challenge:
Hey Breen, I dare you to show yourself in Midgard! I'm still just outside Ost, two days west from Whitegap (if that even means anything to you, I get the feeling you get around pretty easily). Come ready, and don't disappoint me!